Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Going Against the Code

You guys...

I just had to share this and get it off my chest.

My supervisor just pulled me into another office to discuss my attire.

She informed me that my skirt yesterday was questionable and today another supervisor made a comment about today's dress to her.

She provided me with a print out copy of our company's dress code and asked me to review it again.

I wanted to point that her skirt last week was well above knee length, which is what prompted me to assume my skirt length was also acceptable. But I didn't.

So apparently yes, I do need to go shopping for some new skirts because even as short as I am, my skirts are too short.

A part of me really feels like crap and I kind of want to cry right now. But I have a meeting to go to.  So I won't.


  1. omg, ok first, don't cry! don't let them get to you. and second, stand up for yourself! you so should have pointed her out. deep breaths, you look great regardless of whatever that paper says you should wear!

  2. Melissa, I see absolutely nothing wrong with either of those outfits. The length looks fine to me and both were professional attire. I guess policy is policy and not much you can do about it. If you find that you did nothing wrong according to their "dress code", then you should let her know. Otherwise, maybe you should ask for a raise to cover the cost of all the new clothes you now have to buy. Don't let it get to you. There are office "politics" and BS at every corporation. If bosses worried as much about the employees work ethic as they did about what they wear to work, I think everyone would be much happier in the work place. Just grin and bear it and know that you are an awesome person! It's just a job and sometimes you have to just smile and say "okay". I really do feel for you, though. I know I would feel exactly the same way if I were in your shoes. In the words of Dory, "Just keep swimming"! :)

  3. Oh sweetie. I'm sorry. You can never tell until they give you the talk. I have had someone give me the talk before, not here, but at previous jobs, and it sucks. Just know you were perfectly modest and well dressed. And I would ask for SPECIFIC measurements from HR. How far above the knee? And not to be pissy or rude, but to KNOW. Let them know you very much wish to comply, but need to know what constitutes complying before you go shop.

  4. Like others have said, calm down and don't let them get to you. I personally believe your white skirt was long enough...

    Take the rules and make sure you comply. Policy IS policy, but they're going to enforce it where they please. It happened at school, both uniformed and otherwise.

    Don't let it get to you, just reserve the other pieces for your days off. It'll take some work finding good length skirts, I know. Even at 5'3" skirts are terribly short, but they do exist!

    You're an awesome person with great style. Take it in stride and keep working what you got.

  5. Wait just one minute, yesterday’s skirt was “questionable” then she didn’t broach the subject YESTERDAY? That is completely unacceptable! If she had any concerns she should have voiced them then, otherwise how are you supposed to correct the “error” (please note the use of quotation marks! Lol)? And I totally agree with the above comment about asking for specific measurements. It’s not fair to bust someone over a matter of opinion. Keep those eyes dry hun, keep in mind you look fab despite the man trying to bring you down :-)

  6. My goodness I don't see ANYTHING wrong with your skirt length yesterday. I think that's ridiculous. Don't take it to heart, just let it go. It's probably not worth it.

    I wish you could see what some ladies at my work wear. But I guess since we have a very loose policy they can get away with it.

    virutal hugs to you, don't let it get you down.

  7. Sorry that they hurted your feeling. If you are confident that your outfits were not against the dress code, be sure to speak out and ask them to be more specific. The word "questionable" is too vague.

  8. I'm with the other gals, I thought you looked fine, but company policy is ... company policy.

    I agree with Work With What You've Got - I'd asked for specifics on what they deem appropriate and not, because this is apparently a game of literally 1-2" inches!

    And if you do talk to HR, I'd mention in passing that you that thought what you were wearing was appropriate because of attire you've seen on others and because it was never mentioned until now.

  9. Hi doll, just found your blog and love it! Why do women do this to each other? Jealous!! Seriously, unless you look like a tramp (and you don't!) what's the big deal here! At least you get to go shopping ;) hugs

  10. I'm so sorry this happened to you :( Don't let it get you down - you look gorgeous!!
    I agree with Lisa about talking to HR and mentioning you thought all was fine since nothing had been addressed and you were following suit with what others were wearing.
    I hope tomorrow is a better day for you! :)

  11. Sorry that happened to you. I think you look fine. I agree that you should talk to someone in HR. Don't let it ruin your night!!! :)

  12. Can I just say that the only reason I've gotten through this day is because of all of you?

    Thank you all so much!

    I looked at the guidelines and apparently skirts are to be MID-CALF to ANKLE length! Our knees are to be completely covered at all times?! And boss's skirt last week was just as short as mine is today.


    Thanks again, ladies. You are all the best!

  13. I'm so sorry about this! Your outfits look fine and you dress very modestly and professionally. I hope you can find a common ground!

  14. Both of them looked just fine to me. Usually, places have a rule like that in the book, but everyone breaks it enough that it's understood to be ok. I guess your supervisor is just one of those hypocrites. Mid-calf to ankle??? Did extremely strange religious people from a secret compound create that rule? I'm not a mini-skirt proponent, but you were covered! Stupid. :-P

  15. Bless your heart. You did mention both yesterday and today that your skirt was a teeny bit short -- maybe she's reading your blog?

    So I scrolled back and you have many beautiful outfits with regulation-length skirts. You look great in pants. Don't let it get you down.

    Mid-calf? Yikes! Maybe your company's dress code needs updating. It sounds as if it came from back when miniskirts went out of style 40 years ago.

  16. Oh no! I'm so sorry about that! I agree with everyone else about the skirts not seeming too short as far as "appropriate"/"modest" dress is concerned. And mid-calf to ankle length skirts sounds like a policy that's just begging to be bent, if not totally broken.
    And as a fellow shorty, it IS harder to find skirts of an appropriate length than it really needs to be. Is it possible to let the hems down on some of your skirts? Maybe if they're knee length, no on will say anything...

  17. I bet you this is a case of your supervisor being called on her skirt, so her way of making herself feel better was to call you out on yours. You looked fabulous, and it's important you remember that! (And I do love the dress from today - the pockets are cute!!)

  18. SO LAME!

    I remember once, when I was in college, I had to volunteer at this children's center because I got my initial licensure in PreK-3rd grade.

    We (the college students) got evaluated by the director of the children's program, and I remember she wrote how I didn't dress appropriately for work with 3-4 year olds. I'm like, how can you make that assumption??? I can wear these things when I'm teaching these kids! Just because I don't want to wear birkenstocks and turtlenecks doesn't mean I'm not a good teacher! She said I wore low cut shirts (ummm no) and high heels (ummm no).

    Totally lame. But knee length or longer???? That sucks. I would totally have gotten in trouble, too! You look great, don't let their comments bother you! Just try to dress more conservatively, I guess....but I think you look fine!

  19. Awww hunnie, Im so sorry:( I agree with policies being policies and you must follow the rules, but its NOT fair if the rules aren't for EVERYONE.
    I'd definitely keep up with your terrific sense of style outside of your workplace....cuz you can rock it girlie!!!!

  20. I'm so sorry! I don't see anything wrong/inappropriate at all with your outfit. How incredibly frustrating.

  21. What part is against dress code?! Seriously dude you would of passed catholic school code and that is STRICT so I don't know what their problem is.
    A coworker complained about another coworker of mine and she got in trouble. And it was just jealousy tattling. I always have regarded you as a modest dresser. (I am one myself in my mind at least)
    Don't let them get you down. Think what kinda pathetic existence the complainer must me living if someones skirt length bothers them. Must of been a librarian.

  22. Please don't cry! What a frustrating situation. To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with your skirt lengths and think they're pretty modest. I'm sorry about your company's policy, but maybe you can ask them for concrete examples of what's an appropriate length.

    You have a great sense of style, and I'm sure you'll be able to incorporate it into whatever dress code politics you'll have to navigate. Big hugs to you, friend.

  23. Yikes! Sorry to hear that.
    I guess if the policy is calf length to ankle length then its not an inch or two - but now that you and she have had a talk, I would probably be side-eyeing anything she wore that was shorter than that length, and she will know that you know KWIM? LOL.

    Don't take it too hard kiddo, after reading the crazy rules they have in place there it sounds like they are going to be very hard to please. No scrubs, no short skirts etc etc. Just keep your head up and say your beautiful self.

  24. Sorry that you had a bad day! I don't think those lengths are too short at all. I think you look professional in both of them plus, who wears mid-calf and ankle length skirts in FL??!! Crazy! Hoping that you have a better day tomorrow! :)

  25. ugh, how annoying when the bosses don't practice what they preach.
    I suppose there isn't much you can do now that you know the policy. No worries, at least it was just your outfit and not your standard of work...
    Tomorrow's a new day! :)

  26. I'm so sorry that happened!
    Like others have said, you'll just have to save those pieces for the weekends and wear the longer skirts and dresses at work.
    In my opinion, it's probably better not to point out to your boss that her skirt was shorter and just be gracious and professional about the whole incident. Just smile and say, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize it. It will never happen again."
    Again, so sorry that happened!

  27. Keep your chin up, dear! It is definitely not cool that your boss is guilty of the same thing, and they should enforce it across the board if they're going to enforce it at all. Maybe they've enforced it with her, too? While I know it wasn't easy, I think you handled it gracefully...mentioning her indiscretion would have just put her on the defensive and could have blown the whole thing up.

    It's easy to let these things bring us down, but don't let this get to you...hey, she didn't mention anyone questioned your work, right? You're still you and you're still fabulous (even at work), regardless of what they ask you to wear.

  28. Oh this is awful - don't cry, I've been in this situation before and I remember it being very upsetting as I felt like I wasn't able to express myself.

    I actually work in government and am able to wear what I post on my blog to work with no question from my boss. And I wear much shorter dresses than either of those that you posted!

    But I agree with what others have said - ask them for specifics, as I think that a dress code can be interpreted differently by different people. That way you will all be on the same page. x

  29. Oh my goodness! You poor thing! I agree with other commenters - you were dressed appropriately in my opinion, so they really owe you specifics for their dress criteria. It's all very subjective - too short, or fitted, or whatever means something different to everyone.

    Hang in there. I'll be thinking of you today.

  30. That is just ludicrous! I'm sorry that happened to you, you must be feeling awful still.

    I work in an ultra conservative industry and after having reviewed both outfits in question, I have to say, I wear way shorter skirt and dress than that. I, without bias to you because I like(!) you can honestly say, both outfits are professional enough for summer.

    However, it is a bit trickier when there is an actual written policy and even overzealous, jealous person to implement it. Be cautious but for future reference in case this happens again, you might want to document when she or others have broken that code themselves and be careful that she doesn't make this into a habit of harassing you.

    Poor Mel! Cheer up okay?


  31. First of all your skirt is totally fine! I have no idea why this lady is out to get you (envy?) I honestly think you look so cute and professional everyday and it blows my mind that she would even say something! I am sorry about that! I hope you keep your chin up girl!

  32. Can be hard not to take it personally. At least your wardrobe is less a part of who you are than your personality is. Remember your same employer let me go for having a lousy personality and being unfriendly. I can snark about it now, but that was definitely a blow. A sit in the dark eating ice cream straight from the tub kind of blow.

    And I hated their dress code.

  33. Oh man, I have had the talk- at my old company in VA. I had the talk many times. It was my dress length or my shoes or... worst of all, my boss told my my arms shouldn't be exposed because they were large.

    THAT is harassment.

    I'm so sorry you had to endure this and I know you'll pull through. GREAT job on the blazer today. :)

  34. That stinks. I hope you can find some hidden way of reminding her of her skirt lengths.

  35. Oh guys...thank you for your support in this. This past week has been just awful and the "short skirt" thing was just the tip of the iceberg.

    I have to do something about it. It makes my stomach tie up in knots when I think about it.


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